A lot of moms ask for parenting help with their teens. What worked when their kids were younger no longer works for teens. And they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made with them.
Why is it so hard to parent teens?
As moms, we are still influential but our influence wanes. Teens naturally rebel and they really need a lot of freedom. And with the stress teens face today, they have a larger need for fun, too. Plus, being an adolescent is super stressful. It feels like nobody understands you, listens to you, and you feel so alone. And then you see that someone special on the one day you didn't shower and your clothes look like you slept in them. UGH. Try to have some compassion. You were there once, too.
Why does my teen hate me so much?
Your teen loves you. Really! Do NOT take things personally. Yes, set and enforce limits and boundaries. And when they get mad, say "I hate you!" try to let it go. It's not about you. Really.
Teens are not going to like being told to take out the trash. They especially hate to hear they do not have permission to go to a party. Actually, teens don't like being told to do or not to do anything at all. But tell them we must.
When will it get better?
It can get better sooner than you think. Now is a good time to revisit your Mission Statement and Vision. This will provide you reinforcement when you need it. And you will need it when your teen pushes back.
Once you're solid on your Mission and Vision, see what you can do to incorporate FUN into your family's schedule. Yes, make it a regular thing. No, teens aren't going to be available every time. But let them know ahead of time your expectations, "We're going to do a family activity every week. We expect you to participate 3 out of the 4 events." The more fun your teen has with you, the more bonded to you they will remain.
